and then she snapped: there is entirely too much yelling at my house, and other awesome parenting tips

there is entirely too much yelling at my house, and other awesome parenting tips

By 8 am this morning, Camden had been sent to his room twice, and I'd yelled at Grace once (at least). They both had accidentally hit the other in the face with Camden's watch. Charlie was sitting on the couch taking it all in yelling for his milk. This cannot be good parenting, right? We took the advice of some inspiring parents who we heard speak a few months back and had a family meeting this week, where we reminded the little hellions one another of our basic family expectations (be kind, respect your parents, keep your shit picked up room clean). Does that sound so difficult? Apparently so.

don't let the photo fool you, these two are AT each other. all. the. time.
 I really do try. I want my kids to be friends with each other. But it's been 7 years since Camden was born and the sibling rivalry hasn't stopped for one minute. That's not right, is it? I don't remember fighting with my brother Lars, who is 3 years younger than me, and ESPECIALLY not with Pete or Clare (11 and 14 years younger), I don't understand what we as parents have done wrong (this is where you are supposed to say that we haven't done anything wrong, k? thanks.)

We have decided to go back to the basics. If you're rude, if you're whining, if you say your room is clean and it's not you get to go hang out in your room by yourself. without. internet. Mostly this is to get these little people away from me for a little while, so that I don't scream at them, but usually I end up screaming at them to get them to GO in their rooms.
I guess I could say 'oh well, you can't win them all', but I really would like to win this one. Please, help me! Share your wisdom. Ready? Discuss!
on Friday, June 10, 2011
in ,

20 comments:

  1. Be Thou ExaltedJune 10, 2011 at 2:42 PM

    I have this book on my wish list:
    http://www.amazon.com/Making-Brothers-Sisters-Best-Friends/dp/0971940509/ref=pd_luc_cps_00_04_t_lh

    I've heard it's really good.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Tay&JulianJune 10, 2011 at 2:48 PM

    And its not even summer yet... eek.

    ReplyDelete
  3. HeidiJune 10, 2011 at 3:33 PM

    Seriously Rach, one more warning about what will happen if they don't get it together and then pack up all their shiz and leave just the bed and clothes. No internet, no phone, no TV, no camera, no anything that rings their bells. It all has to be earned back through chores and good behavior and respect and blah blah blah. It is working over here in the monkey house and I am yelling way way less which is a huge deal, cuz you know I'm built that way. These fools don't run the show, right? Good luck and big ol' hug, friend.

    ReplyDelete
  4. BrookeJune 10, 2011 at 3:57 PM

    I think you are right on track. I tell mine that they can act however they like in THEIR rooms... but if they are going to be with the family, they need to be respectful!!! :D Keep it up Momma - you will thank yourself! They just might too.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Kim AirhartJune 10, 2011 at 4:20 PM

    As someone that grew up with siblings I think it's rare that siblings don't fight. My Brother and I were 2 years apart and didn't like each other until we were in our 20's. My Sister is 6.5 years older than me and until I became a Mom we didn't have anything in common. Now she is my best friend.
    The best memories I have are with my siblings growing up. The good, the bad and the Ugly.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousJune 10, 2011 at 4:50 PM

    cussing is bad. but nice post!

    ~anonymous

    ReplyDelete
  7. NancyJune 10, 2011 at 4:58 PM

    I fought all the time with my brothers and sometimes even my sister. But, we all grew up to become great friends! Don't worry about it, it is natural...

    ReplyDelete
  8. UnknownJune 10, 2011 at 6:41 PM

    I agree with anonymous that cussing isn't good but you have the right idea for dealing with the sibling rivalry.

    From my own experience, my brothers and I always fought growing up. There's three years between each of us, which isn't too much. We would kick and hit if we were angry enough. I loved to tell on my brothers when I was younger for EVERYTHING and that drove my parents crazy. My brothers and I still bicker sometimes, but it's much better now than it used to be.

    ReplyDelete
  9. BethJune 10, 2011 at 7:02 PM

    Do I EVER feel your pain! If my kids didn't fight, my life would be so much more pleasant. On one hand, I agree that it's normal - but what really gets me going is when they're nasty to each other. Our fundamental (oft forgotten) rule is to be respectful to each other. I have the kids re-say things more (nicely) and that's made a little difference.

    We also try the family meeting thing. That usually buys a few days - okay, hours - of peace. So I guess I don't have much advice, just wanted you to know you are not alone!

    ReplyDelete
  10. SuLeeJune 10, 2011 at 7:52 PM

    My girls are at each other too! Don't separate them. Put them on the couch together, holding hands, then have them say something nice about one another, hug and then a peck on the cheek. This makes Lily and Grace insane but by the time they get to the peck, they are giggling and so am i. If they can't do all of those things, they sit together longer while still holding hands. Try it......
    You are great parents, but really, do you know how hard it is to pick up sh*t? Have you tried it lately? :-) Love you friend! P.S.. I think Grace was the anonymous poster. Don't you?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Moments and ImpressionsJune 10, 2011 at 7:52 PM

    I am loving all the tips... sorry I have nothing to offer up.

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousJune 10, 2011 at 10:52 PM

    Did SuLee just post "sh*t"? AWESOME!!! ~ C.Lack

    ReplyDelete
  13. JackieJune 11, 2011 at 7:22 AM

    I only have 1 kiddo... but I find myself yelling way too much, and getting frustrated, and just not living the way I thought we would live. I found ScreamFree Parenting, and it has changed everything for me. I find when I read it things get better... and then slip, and I read it again... and things are better. Each time I read it things stay better for longer. I definitely recommend it... it's really good. :)

    Oh btw... congrats on your domain name. :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Apples to ZucchiniJune 11, 2011 at 1:05 PM

    You haven't done anything wrong, k? Seriously. And I agree with you about in their rooms, no internet etc. I wish I could be nice like SuLee and just make the little crazies love on each other on the couch, but once they start fighting, I need a time out.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Apples to ZucchiniJune 11, 2011 at 1:07 PM

    BTW, cussing makes me feel better...

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousJune 11, 2011 at 1:42 PM

    I don't have kids yet so I cannot give advice. I grew up with 3 brothers. I don't really remember us fighting but I do remember feeling competitive with them. I am the youngest by 6 years but I did well in school so I felt the need to be the "smart one". Our competitiveness has always been below th surface. So while quiter than the sibing rivalry you describe it was and maybe still is. I'm inclined to say your kids are just fine and normal and you are doing a great job parenting :-)

    Stopping by from #commenthour ~ Chasing Joy (http://www.chasing-joy.com)

    ReplyDelete
  17. JennyJune 11, 2011 at 9:55 PM

    Stay strong my friend! You can do what I do...In my head I keep chanting..."I will not negotiate with the tiny terrorists that live in my house...I will not negotiate with the tiny terrorists that live in my house..."

    ReplyDelete
  18. simply heidiJanuary 23, 2012 at 9:47 AM

    I have an only child and still I hear it: "Stoppit! Get off me! No! No! I SAID STOPPIT!"
    And we thought getting her a puppy would be good thing...

    ReplyDelete
  19. Fashion-ishaJanuary 30, 2012 at 9:42 PM

    You have not done anything wrong!! Trust me I have 5 kids who are mostly grown up and it's never about us! We need to be loving and supportive and let them somehow fight it out and find their way. Sometimes when I want to yell I just step back and say, " YOu guys figure it out."
    xo
    Sharon

    ReplyDelete
  20. Marco PhillipsteinMarch 8, 2012 at 9:48 PM

    We have to realize that there is no single way of parenting. Cussing isn't good but you have the right idea for dealing with the sibling rivalry.

    nyc moms

    ReplyDelete

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