wherein I vent about stupid car repair places--in other words, I {snap}

this is for katie.

so I hit (was hit? by) a random scrap of tire tread on the freeway a couple months ago.  this, in and of itself, is unbelievable to me...that there aren't laws prohibiting trucks from blowing tires on the freeway.  it's not like it's a rare occurance, or I wouldn't see rubber scraps on the side of the freeway all.  the.  time.  maybe if these trucks replaced their tires a little sooner this wouldn't happen?  I don't know, whatevs.

but, anyway,  I got hit and luckily the damage really wasn't that bad.  my front bumper was a little crunched, and my license plate and frame were all cattywompus, and my front parking assist* didn't work anymore.  all in all it really didn't look bad, and I HATE dealing with car crap (it makes me cranky)...so I waited a few weeks.  my insurance company sent me to their "preferred" collision repair facility and that would have been fine except that in the meantime my car WOULDN'T START, which turned out to be completely unrelated, but required getting towed not once, but twice (can you SEE me getting crankier?) 

but anyway, a couple more weeks pass and I finally take my car back in to the "preferred" collision specialist and upon dropping it off remind the technician again that my front parking assist isn't working (I figured I would mention this because it's not something that they would necessarily see).  then I have to go to the car rental place to get my "loaner" car.  which is great...I mean, I need a car, but it makes me so cranky being hassled, is it really impossible for them to have the car ready for me?  it took me probably 90 mins to drop my car off and get on the road again.  oh, and WTF?  how is it even possible that this rental car, a nissan versa, which I'm sure my 6ft5in husband would not even FIT in, could smell so nasty?  I mean, it's only got like 1,000 miles on it?  I don't understand.  the smell gave me a headache.  and made me cranky. 

but anyway, three days pass and they call to tell me that my car is finally ready.  YAY!  I'm so excited I go to get it almost immediately and "Randy" says, "Oh, I mentioned about your parking assist to the technician and..." (get this), "YOU DON'T HAVE THAT". 

Um, WHAT?  I said, "yes, I do, or I DID".  Randy tells me I should just check it "real carefully" when I get home, like drive real close to something and see if it works. 

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

is this because I'm a woman?  a "stupid" woman who doesn't know a damn thing about cars?  I will be the first to admit that I don't know a damn thing about fixing cars.  fortunately that's not my job.  but, this is MY car.  that I drive every day.  I am going to go out on a limb here and assume that I do know a few things about MY car, like whether or not it beeps at me if I get too close to garbage cans, small children, or other cars.

this is where two things could have happened.  I could have gone OFF, or I could have gone home. 

I went home.  I did NOT want to deal with the stupid car people anymore that day.  and I wanted my car back, even without the parking assist. 

later, and this is where the story gets really good, I go to visit my neighbor, Katie, and tell her the whole story, and she's sitting there with a smile on her face, and I think it's because she totally thinks those stupid car people are idiots (like I do).  but NO, that's not why she's smiling.  she's smiling because she thinks I have imagined ever having front parking assist.  She says she's never even HEARD of front parking assist.  SERIOUSLY!  this is my FRIEND (or so I thought!).  and she's laughing at me.  I'm explaining how I know I have (had) it and she does NOT believe that it even exists.  (I KNOW!)

this, taken from my 2007 Volvo xc90 owner's manual:

Front/rear park assist (accessory/option)

Front/rear park assist
The park assist system(s) are designed to assist you when driving into parking spaces, garages, etc. They utilize ultrasound sensors located in the bumpers to measure the distance to a vehicle or other object, or a person who may be close to the front or rear of the vehicle.
When is park assist active
Front: the system is active from the time the engine is started until the vehicle exceeds a speed of approximately 10 mph (15 km/h). It is also active when the vehicle is backing up. Front park assist reactivates automatically when the vehicle's speed goes under 10 mph (15 km/h).
Rear: the system is active when the engine is running and reverse gear is selected.

I still haven't gotten my parking assist fixed, because, as you know, it makes me cranky.  I'm going to have to take it in AGAIN, and be without my car AGAIN, and deal with stupid car people AGAIN.  I think I'll wait a few more weeks so I'm not so cranky.

*front parking assist is where if anything gets too close to the front bumper, the car beeps at me, "beep, beep, beep" until I get way too close then it just goes "BEEEEEEEEEEP".  this comes in handy when I'm trying to leave my grama's house.